Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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