He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
