You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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