Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
