Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Randomize
