umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
