I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
