Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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