Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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