Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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