Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there were birth control emojis
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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