Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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