Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Sorry about my life...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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