if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
