one word: firstdatebathroomanal
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I see more hoeing in ur future
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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