Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
