Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
