He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
