wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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