i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.