so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
and technically it was a rebound
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
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everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
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Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone