did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
