her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
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