With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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