were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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