YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
