aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
