I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
