Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
