no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
