if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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