I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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