the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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