i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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