its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
