32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize