you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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