Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
