like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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