I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize