My room smells like vodka and shame
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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