just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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