i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize