the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
