Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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