shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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