This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
