Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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