You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
