I think I died a long time ago.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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