Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
