jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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