So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
