She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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