Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
