Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
