I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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