we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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