wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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